


Girls Night In

by setmeatopthepyre



Series: Tumblr Prompts [4]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, rowdy shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 22:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13890228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setmeatopthepyre/pseuds/setmeatopthepyre
Summary: The Rowdy 3 have a girls night in. During the preparations no diner or grocery store is safe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Girls night in?" for Amanda & the Rowdy 3.

 "Come sit here, Rainbow. Drummer, scoot."

"Why do we all have to sit on the same side?"

"Cause I like you guys."

Amanda couldn't argue with that logic and made room for Cross, who pulled Beast along to sit on his other side. She suddenly had a lot less room and struggled to take off her jacket without elbowing Cross in the face. After far too long and with absolutely no help from her companions she managed to wiggle out of the leather and stuffed it in the space between her and the wall. Meanwhile, Cross had kicked off his boots and put his feet up on the opposite bench.

"Good afternoon, ladies." A voice came up behind them. "My name is Charlie and I'll be your server today. Can I get you- oh, _shit_." 

The waiter - Charlie - was quickly turning pink with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, sir. I -"

Amanda snorted a laugh at his shocked expression.  "Relax, dude. He doesn't mind."

Cross nodded beside her, grinning widely.  "Hi, Charlie. This is Drummer -"

" _Amanda_."

"- and Beast and I'm Cross."

Charlie smiled gratefully. If he thought their names, or the fact that Cross felt the need to introduce himself strange he didn't let it show. Then again, Amanda noted with a raised eyebrow, he didn't seem to really be paying any attention to her or to Beast. 

Cross' grin widened as though someone had just told him a joke that only he could hear as even the tips of the waiter's ears turned pink.

"Can we get six beers, please?"

Charlie blinked and tore his gaze away from Cross to nod at Amanda. "Right! Right. Yep. Coming right up." 

Moments later Gripps, Martin and Vogel plopped down opposite them in the booth. Cross retracted his long legs to let Gripps through but kicked his feet up again as soon as he'd taken a seat.

"Who flirted with the waiter?" Martin asked, moving Cross' feet onto his lap so he could make more room for Vogel.

"Cross."

"He called me a lady," he snickered.

"Yep, you're one of the girls now," Amanda said, prodding him affectionately in the ribs.

Vogel frowned a little. "Hey boss?"

"Hm?" Martin and Amanda responded at the same time and exchanged an amused look. This happened far too often and they were never really sure who Vogel meant. Amanda was fairly convinced by now that it was just his term for the both of them. 

"Can I be one of the girls too?"

Martin draped an arm around Vogel's shoulders and pulled him in to ruffle his hair. "'Course you can."

Amanda snorted a laugh and then stared, eyes wide, before pointing at Vogel and then at Beast and Cross.

"We should have a girls' night!" She slapped the table hard in her enthusiasm and then prodded Cross in the ribs again. "A girls night! We'll watch movies and have pink drinks with the, the little umbrellas! Gripps can do our nails!" 

"Yeah!" Cheered both Vogel and Beast at once, and both Martin and Gripps grinned at Amanda's beaming expression. 

"Excellent! What do you think?" She prodded Cross's bony side for the third time since they'd sat down. "Hey, jerk. Little umbrellas, come on." 

She followed the tall Rowdy's gaze to the waiter, Charlie, who was approaching with a tray full of beers and a blush creeping into his hairline. 

" _Cross_ " she hissed at him as Charlie came closer. "Don't torture the poor guy!"

"Hey! You saying my attention is torture, drummer?" Cross managed to look wounded for all of a second before turning his bright grin back to Charlie, who beamed back at him and promptly spilled the first beer all over Vogel. Vogel, never one to turn down a food and/or drink fight, proceeded to swipe the next two cups from the tray and fling them across the booth. 

It wasn't a surprise to any of them when the manager came out moments later to tell them to leave, despite Charlie swearing up and down that it had been his fault.

"Nope, that was all on us," Amanda reassured him as Martin pushed Vogel out the door. 

"Wasn't hungry anyway," declared Gripps as he followed them out, one arm around an angrily muttering Beast. She'd been the one to call for a food stop and was none too pleased with this turn of events. 

Cross was the last to leave, heaving one of the surviving glasses of beer in a salute. "Sorry Charlie!" 

 

Once outside they all stood for a moment, blinking in the brightness of the setting sun. They made a somewhat forlorn and varying degrees of soaked bunch. Beast was the first to move, though it wasn't exactly much. She slumped down and sat on the curb with a huffed "I wanna borgah."

"Uhm. Hey. Cross?" a careful voice came from the service entrance and Amanda barely caught a glimpse of Charlie's copper hair. 

Cross raised his eyebrows at the rest of them before shrugging and following. When he came back he was smiling again and followed closely by the waiter.

He'd gone full dimple smile, Amanda noted. Charlie didn't stand a chance. None of them did. Cross had the uncanny knack of being able to reassure anyone in any situation so that you only realized you had no idea what he'd just convinced you of until it was too late. As far as she could tell, no one was immune. 

"Charlie here says - wait, tell 'em!"

"Uhm," said Charlie. "Er. I talked to my manager. I can still bring you guys food, if you want?" Beast's head swiveled and Charlie seemed a little unsettled by the sudden intensity of her gaze. And maybe the rainbow eyes. There was no telling. "But -"he quickly added, " _Outside_. I'm not allowed to uh, to let you guys back in-"

"Outside is good,"

"If you have take-out boxes or something? That's probably best." Amanda quickly added. "Plates might not, uh, make it."

Cross pointed at her and nodded solemnly as if he were directing a highly important operation. One might argue that it was, in fact, an important operation, at least judging by the expression on Beast's face. Though she was usually her happy and excitable self, she tended to get a bit.. focused whenever she had her mind set on something. And right now that something was burgers.

Charlie carefully looked them all over for a moment, likely trying to decide if this ragtag group of punks was going to get him fired. All six of the Rowdy 3 put on their most winning smiles. He sighed heavily. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. So what can I get you guys?"


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't take long at all for them to devour their burgers, fries, and the generous slice of cheesecake that Charlie had balanced precariously on only Cross' box of dinner, earning him a particularly dirty look from Beast. Once they were sated and they had paid their poor waiter —- tipping generously, of course —- all six of the Rowdy 3 piled back into the van.

"Where to, boss?" Martin asked, winking at Amanda over his shoulder.

"Are we still doing girl's night?"

"If you want a girl's night," he jabbed a ringed finger at the rear view mirror,  "we're having a girl's night."

The rest of the van's inhabitants whooped in agreement and Amanda smiled wide as she leaned forward between the seats and Martin revved the engine in time with their howls and jeers. "To the grocery store!"

 

They tore into the parking lot with screeching tires and Beast's rainbow hair streaming out the window as she yelled unintelligible things at passers-by. As soon as Martin hit the brakes Vogel threw open the door, chanting "GIRLS! NIGHT! GIRLS! NIGHT!" and sending a group of college kids scurrying away. Amanda piled out after him and opened the door for Beast with a flourish and a bow. By the time most of them were out of the van Martin was leaning up against the hood and lighting a cigarette.

"You coming?" Amanda asked him as she deftly side-stepped Cross's attempt to throw her over his shoulder.

"Nah, girls only. " He grinned and gestured at the open van door, from which a soft snoring could be heard.  "I'll keep Gripps company."

"'Manda! Come on! We gotta go! We gotta get the, uh..." Vogel launched himself at Beast, nearly toppling her over. "What are we getting?"

She just shrugged at him. "Girlie things!" She jabbed a finger in her direction, "'Manda knows."

"Drummer knows it all!" Cross declared, slinging an arm around Amanda's shoulders and ruffling her hair. He leaned in close and added in a conspiratorial tone, "Even the things she doesn't know."

She flapped an arm at him. "Like why I put up with you jerks?" She ducked out of his arm before he could go for her hair again. "We're getting ice cream, chocolate, uh, nail polish! Movies! Fancy drinks!"

"Umbrellas! Don't forget the umbrellas!" Vogel added excitedly as he helped Beast into a shopping cart.

"Why's it gotta be umbrellas, anyway?" Cross mused as the two of them hurtled past him with their shopping cart. "Why not tiny cars? Cats?"

"Oh, no, no cats. You remember the one Dirk talked about? The, uh, what'd Todd call it? Shitten? We would not want one of those in our drinks."

"Yeah," the taller Rowdy made a face, eyebrows raised high. "No shit."

"Boss! You got any quarters?" Vogel had abandoned the cart right by the automatic doors, causing them to open and close and open and close and open and close and open. Beast yelled for him to come back, wildly shaking the cart she was in as she did, but Vogel was barely paying attention,  prying as he was at a candy dispenser. Amanda searched her pockets but it wasn't necessary — it had taken Vogel mere seconds to break the mechanism and the floor was instantaneously engulfed in gumballs. Vogel eagerly shoved a handful in his mouth and spent the next five minutes trying to chew through them. Cross, apparently inspired, followed his example.

Amanda shook with laughter at their slightly pained faces and finally nudged them towards the door. "Alright, you dorks. Come on, we've got shopping to do."

"Wait."

She frowned up at the tallest Rowdy, his expression suddenly serious — or as serious as it could be when he was still busy chewing through who knew how many gumballs. "What?"

"Hop in first."

Amanda eyed the shopping cart, which rattled loudly with a riled up Beast inside. "I don't know —"

"You're the expedition leader, Drummer. You gotta lead us into the jungle!"

She laughed. "Okay. Fine. Hold it still though, I don't wanna capsize."

"What size is a capsize?" asked Vogel as he waited for Amanda to settle herself in the rickety cart beside Beast. As soon as she had, he climbed onto Cross's back.

"Sea monster size!" his noble-ish steed replied, and blew a bubble.  


If any of the other store-goers looked at them oddly, none of their little expedition noticed. Amanda sat in the front of the cart, pointing in the direction they needed to go. Not that there was much of a plan; she mostly cried out whenever she remembered something they definitely needed for their girl's night and then demanded Cross take them to the right aisle. Beast busied herself with grabbing handfuls of nuts, pretzels, cereal and, for some reason, coffee beans from the bulk bins whenever they rode past. She would then proceed to shake said foodstuffs at them until they took a piece and, at her insistence, ate it, after which she'd prod Amanda until Amanda told Cross to go by the bulk bins again.

Cross, ever-patient Cross, did not complain once — not even when Vogel (accidentally?) hit him in the head multiple times trying to toss items into the cart. He simply let himself be pointed in whatever direction the others wanted to go, as though he were the universe's most compliant babysitter.

It took them all of ten minutes for them to fill up the cart that Beast and Amanda were seated in, so Cross steered them back towards the entrance of the store. Amanda stood up, cart wobbling dangerously beneath her, and shook the froot loops (courtesy of Vogel) out of her clothes. She climbed out of the cart and went through the automatic doors to procure another one. "Vogel, you're up!"

Vogel immediately clambered off Cross's back and into the cart. A store greeter watched them nervously and visibly paled the second they began racing through the aisles.

"GET THEM! DRUMMER! Let's GO!"

Amanda laughed, gasping for air as she did, and tried to run even faster to catch up with Beast and Cross, who's long legs gave him a definite advantage.

"Fastar!" Beast demanded as she watched a wildly gesturing Vogel move up closer.

"Closer, drummer! I can get 'em!"

Amanda took a deep breath and pushed, swerving her cart into Cross's, which sent it and Beast flying into the nearest display of cereal boxes.

"YES! DRUMMER! WE DID IT!" Vogel cackled, bouncing up and down in the cart.

A string of something unintelligible that sounded like cursing exploded from the wreckage and moments later Beast's head popped out of the mess of boxes and cardboard and their groceries. Cross helped her up and made a display of dusting her off. "You good, rainbow?"

She hrmph-ed but nodded and the next five minutes were spent getting their groceries back into the other cart.

It took them a good half hour to get everything they needed, though Amanda wasn't sure if need was the right term. They certainly had acquired a whole bunch of stuff, from snacks to drinks to every colour nail polish they could find to DVDs to a huge pile of frozen pizzas (and waffles, which Cross insisted were Martin's favorite) to brightly coloured and oddly scented face masks to a Star Wars-themed kids party set, which included balloons, streamers, paper plates, flag lines and party invitations. Vogel, Cross and Beast began eagerly handing out — or, rather, throwing — the latter at complete strangers the second they were through the checkout. The cashier had eyed their purchases and then them with a world-weary expression but seemed to relax a little when Amanda pulled out her credit card — courtesy of Farah - and paid without issue. Cross carried every single bag so that Beast and Vogel could ride back to the van in the cart, after which there was some discussion about whether or not they could take the shopping cart with them. It took three Rowdies, one of whom was a still sleepy looking Gripps, to convince Beast to leave the cart behind because it wouldn't fit.

"To the house?" Martin asked once they were all settled in the van again, and Amanda nodded. "Let's hope no one else is using it."

 

The house, in this case, was Amanda's house, though she didn't really live there anymore. The only reason it was still sort of in her possession was Farah Black — Farah, who had asked her to meet up over coffee just a few months prior.

"I... I wanted to talk to you," Farah had started, looking down at her coffee.

"Okay..." Amanda thought Farah sounded particularly serious, but Farah took a lot of things very, very seriously, so there was no telling where the conversation was going.

"...about money."

Amanda frowned. "Money? Are you in trouble? I thought you had.. You know I don't really have-"

Farah's eyebrows shot up. "Oh no, no, that's not what I meant. No, I have a lot of money, _plenty_ of money, even with the agency-"

"Yeah, okay, don't rub it in." Amanda grinned at her.

Farah smiled and exhaled, seeming to relax a little. "What I mean is that I know you guys don't really have... jobs."

"Besides fixing the universe?"

She smiled again. "Besides that. So I want you — and the Rowdy 3 — to join the Agency."

"I'm not going to sit in an office, Farah."

"I know! I know you're not, and the Rowdy 3 definitely wouldn't do well in an office environment, as far as the Agency is an office environment, I mean there was the thing with the.." She met Amanda's eyes and gave an apologetic smile. "What I mean is that — you help with cases already. Even if you don't mean to, the.. the universe, you know."

"Everything is connected?"

"Yes. Exactly. So I think you should be connected to the Agency's finances, too. It's only fair."

"Farah." Amanda blinked at her. "Are you sure? I mean, we get by. The universe provides and all that."

"Threatening drive-through employees isn't really the universe providing, Amanda."

Amanda smiled sheepishly. "They were just trying to help. I wanted a milkshake."

"What I'm saying is, I know you survive and you don't seem to be starving, but it'd be nice if you could just... get a hotel sometimes? Buy... vegetables? What I'm saying is," she reached into a pocket, then slid a credit card across the table, "welcome to the Agency, miss Brotzman."

Amanda grinned wide and picked up the card, examining it carefully. "Thank you, miss Black."

"You can all share one card, right? I wasn't sure if they'd lose them, maybe.."

"Yeah, we can share. I'll treat them to pizza."

"I'm sure... I think they'll like that? Do they... eat?"

"Come on, Farah. Everyone likes pizza."

Farah sipped her coffee thoughtfully. "I suppose so. There's one more thing."

"This is already more than enough, Farah. What else are you going to do, give me a house?"

"About that..."

 

The house, they had decided, would belong to the Agency, though Amanda was free to keep her things there. In most ways it would continue to be her house, as long as the Agency could use it when necessary. That meant no more bills for Amanda and a place to crash in the area whenever they needed it. A good deal for everyone, Amanda had agreed. And since a girl's night in definitely called for a house to be in, that's where they went.

It took them less than an hour to get to the quiet suburbs that Amanda had been confined to for far too long, and returning was always a strange sensation. It always felt like nothing had changed when she opened that front door again. But everything had changed; everything was different in all the absolute best ways and she always smiled when she saw the front window, whole once more, because it reminded her of the brick that had started it all, the brick that had come crashing through the quiet and launched her life into wonderful, vibrant, completely insane chaos.

Gripps seemed to catch her emotion as she stopped inside the living room. "Home?"

"Nah." She grinned up at him and pulled him in for a hug. "Not by a long shot."

"Looks like we're alone," said Martin as he returned from investigating the other rooms. "Boys?"

"On it!" Cross and Vogel announced in unison and ran off to gather blankets and pillows. Gripps joined them in their quest as soon as Amanda released him from the hug, leaving her with just Martin.

"Where's Beast?" asked Amanda, peering back into the hallway. "Didn't she come in?"

"She said something about wanting to carry the groceries," Martin frowned, and realized his error.

"The ice cream?"

He met her eyes. "The ice cream."

" _Shit_."

 

When the two of them came outside they found the rainbow-haired Rowdy sitting cross-legged in the driveway, eating straight from a pint of ice cream and humming happily to herself. Around her were strewn the other grocery bags, as if she had briefly considered actually bringing them in but had decided against it. The second their otherworldly vanmate spotted them, she smiled widely and waved at them.

"Good thing we got plenty," Amanda grinned up Martin, who simply offered a shrug in return and began gathering up bags. Beast let herself be guided inside by Amanda, still happily working her way through the pint as she followed.

Inside, the others had already constructed most of a pillow fort and Beast launched herself at the structure, abandoning her ice cream completely and nearly toppling over Vogel. In true Vogel fashion he didn't seem to mind at all and instead chose to settle in right beside her once she'd found a spot she liked. Cross draped another blanket over the structure and took a step back to admire their collective handiwork, and Gripps reached down to hand Beast her ice cream.

"Alright, drummer girl." Martin slung an arm around her shoulders and held up the DVDs they'd bought. "Which one are we watchin'?"

It was an odd, mismatched collection and Amanda could only wonder at the selection process. If she remembered correctly, Vogel and Cross had been the ones to scoop up DVDs from the bargain bin. She laughed when she read the titles. "Who picked The Lost Boys?"

Vogel raised his hand, grinning happily. "It's got a girl on it!"

She shrugged. He wasn't wrong, though apparently the irony of a bunch of energy vampires settling in to watch a vampire movie was lost on him. "Lost Boys it is."

 

"Oh, maggots, gross," Amanda waved her freshly painted nails at the screen. "It's a good thing we didn't get take out."

"I don't know," Gripps leaned back on his forearms and rubbed his belly. "I could go for rice."

"Or noodles," Cross nodded, attempting to locate his straw without looking away from the screen, the result being that he nearly poked himself with a little green umbrella.

Amanda stared at them in disgust. "Are you not seeing this?"

Martin blew on his baby blue nails and shrugged at her. "TV don't do much to us."

She frowned. "How's that?"

"Can't smell it."

"Thank god." Amanda muttered, helping herself to a spoonful of half-melted chocolate ice cream. "Wait. Smell as in the energy thing?"

He nodded. "Can't really get the whole emotion thing from a screen."

"Yeah, but.. that's what the acting is for. You know, body language? Voice?"

"What can I say," Martin held out his hand so that Gripps could apply another layer of paint to his nails. "It's not as easy."

 

Todd was silently thankful that the case had taken them to Seattle, of all places. And that it was over. He was tired enough not to fear for his life as Dirk drove, though he had to stay awake enough to hand him pieces of toast because he definitely wasn't tired enough to trust Dirk to eat and drive at the same time. Not after that time with the pizza. To Dirk's credit he had become a slightly more careful driver, what with what stress did for Todd's pararibulitis, the same pararibulitis that had gotten them kicked out of that diner earlier that morning.

"I still think the manager was overreacting," Dirk mumbled through a mouthful of toast as he swerved to avoid a cyclist. "The waiter was nice enough, though."

"Yeah, he was...fine?"

"A little preoccupied, however, didn't you think? Makes you wonder what was on his mind.. Maybe he's writing a book. Or solving a complex math problem."

Todd wiggled his coffee cup out of the cupholder and gave it a miserable shake. Still empty. "Maybe his dog died."

"Oh, don't be like that." Dirk sighed. "What house is it again, Todd?"

"Uh," Todd looked up. "Just right up here. The one with the-" His voice faltered at the same time Dirk hit the brakes. " _Oh no_. Not them. Not now."

"That seems like a rude way to talk about your sister and her friends, Todd," Dirk said, though he had definitely paled at the sight of the graffitied van in the driveway and his voice had lost its usual cheer.

 

They rang the doorbell once. Twice. Then used the key and entered the house with far more care than was necessary.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Dirk tried, trying to sound cheerful though Todd knew he had to feel as exhausted as he did. They exchanged a look, and then opened the door to the living room.

"What the _fuck_?" The words were out of his mouth before Todd knew it. From somewhere inside the pile of blankets and furniture and mattresses came a muffled groan. "Amanda? Are... are you in there?"

Another muffled groan from elsewhere in the pile. "Whozzat?"

A long inhale from somewhere by the couch. "British guy."

A moment of silence.

"Bibbit?"

Todd heard Dirk groan quietly as the muffled conversation continued.

"Wait, _that's_ who Bibbit is?"

A pause.

"Oh man, that makes so much sense. "

"H-hm."

"Explains a lot. _Oof_." Another groan. "Yeah, Rainbow, it's Bibbit."

There was a sudden mad rustling within the pile that had Dirk inching back towards the door, but the rainbow-haired Beast was on him in seconds. "Hi again. How, uh, how have you been?"

With Dirk catching up with the rainbow Beast, Todd inched closer to the blanket pile. "Amanda?"

"Fuck off, Todd. It's _too early_."

"Oh, so you _are_ in there," Todd muttered. "We're just here to sleep, we've been on a case all night-"

There was some shuffling around and finally Amanda's tousled dark hair appeared from the edge of the blanket fort. She shook her head. "Can't do."

"What? Why?"

"We've got all the mattresses."

"And blankets!" A hand waved from elsewhere in the pile.

"And pillows. It's a pillow fort." The beanie-wearing Rowdy appeared beside Amanda.

Todd crouched down beside his sister, allowing him to peek inside the "fort". Inside were food wrappers, empty cups, bottles of nail polish and a tangled mess of blankets and limbs in various states of undress. "Amanda?"

She rubbed at her eyes. "What?"

" _What the fuck?_ "

His sister let out a shriek as the youngest-looking Rowdy — what was his name again? Vogel? — clambered over her. He was wearing only underwear and his hair was decorated with the little umbrellas they put in drinks. He carried a box of froot loops and greeted him with a cheerful "Hi Toad!" before making his way to the kitchen.

Todd let out a tired sigh. All he wanted was to just...lay down. Not this whole...thing.

More rustling from inside the fort and the tall, shirtless figure of the blonde Rowdy unfurled at the other end of the pile. He was at least wearing pants, thank fuck. Todd straightened, trying not to appear too uncomfortable. The blonde gathered up a pile of blankets and dropped them in Todd's arms. "Relax, kid. Give us a second to clean this up and we'll get you a bed."

Todd just stood and stared for a long moment, arms full of blankets. "What... exactly... _is_ this?"

The taller man eyed him over his glasses and grinned. "It's girl's night, of course."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless GuenVanHelsing for helping me with this!


End file.
